Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
