im drinking this country out of the recession.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
