I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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