I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
