the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We talked him into tasing himself.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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