What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
