is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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