...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
