do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
