So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sex in the backyard? Check.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
