i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Girls should come with a carfax report
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
