drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
