Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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