A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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