no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
