So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
