Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
