All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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