While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
