Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think people are normalizing furries
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
