Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
