Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
