Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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