So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
