you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Bring me that man meat
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
