So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
