They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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