We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i drank out of a bidet.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
