i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
