then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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