It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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