Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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