Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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