Will you blow on my dice?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
a search helicopter?!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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