i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
