the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
