I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
