i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
