i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
