dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
