Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
