Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
