first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
