I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
