Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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