I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i think i have two assholes
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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