so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
