One girl and one boy is just not enough.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
