So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
