I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
