How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
